Hosts and Hospitality

We as a community spend a great deal of time chatting about what we need to do in order to grow. People talk about how to make their local practice more welcoming to newcomers, making sure to use inclusive language, having enough loaner gear, and having a curriculum in place that isn’t just “throw the fresh meat to the wolves”. All of those are necessary and I’m happy we’re talking about them, but there’s one piece to this puzzle that I feel often gets overlooked.

Being a good host.

It is of course important how we treat people in our local group, but if we want to grow as a community and not just a bunch of individual mom and pop shops, hospitality is going to be key to our success. To give you all something more concrete to latch on to, I’d like to highlight a couple events that just happened (unfortunately for me on the same weekend) that did one thing in particular incredibly well.

On the weekend of February 1st there was both the Chicago Swordplay Guild’s event Midwinter Armizare (a HEMA event) and The Shire of Caer Gwyn’s Festival of Maidens (an SCA event). To start, let’s take a look at Midwinter. Leading up to the event there went out an internal memo to members of the guild that there would be four tournaments as a part of the event, but that unlike previous years guild members would only be allowed to sign up for two of them. This meant that people could both pitch in as well as get a chance to compete. On the same day, Maidens had both it’s A game tournament (arguably the highest level of competition of any rapier event in the Midwest) as well as a more casual tournament later in the day. While the local group in Champaign might not be overflowing with heavy hitters, they do still have a couple of folks who can absolutely tear shit up if they set their mind to it. They never get to compete in their own group’s tournament, though, because they’re too busy making sure all the gears are turning. Both of these events are a ton of fun and the next year they don’t conflict my plan is to do both back to back.

Something I’ve seen from a few different groups lately, across both the SCA and HEMA, is folks treating their local event as a way to highlight their top fighters instead of as a way to give back to the community. I went to a HEMA event a few months back where they had folks who’d never picked up a rapier judging rapier matches in order for their coach to vie for first. As well, I know of SCA groups who have tried to host large, high profile fencing events with only one or two locals serving as marshals under the assumption that someone will show up day of from another group in order to do the work.

Look, I understand wanting to show off your top fencers, I really really do. But if you just expect the new folks to do all the work hosting, now they don’t have a chance to get better. More importantly, all the other groups showing up are going to have a bad time whenever things are being run by people who haven’t had the experience to make it run smoothly. As my good friend Cecil told me the day I was made a maestro, “You’ve been at this party for awhile, now you get to be one of the hosts.” This doesn’t mean you don’t get to have any fun at your own party, it just means that it’s on you to make sure people are having a good time.

It’s also of the utmost importance to be a good host not only when folks come in for your tournament, but also when people from other groups come to visit your practice. Look, we’re all socially awkward nerds. If you aren’t then great, but I guarantee you the average fencer is going to have some added anxiety when asking someone they don’t know to dance. So if someone comes in to your club, don’t just let them stand around hoping someone will eventually fight them. Instead, it’s on you as a host to take some time out from your own passes and go play matchmaker. Sometimes they might just be standing still because they needed a break and that’s perfectly fine. But if they’re ready to go and no one else is coming up to them, it’s on you as a host to start pairing them up.

A few months ago there was a map floating around showing whether or not you’d be offered food if you come over to somebody’s house and my family is squarely in the “Oh, you’re here for more than five minutes? Here, have something to nosh on. Oh, I just picked up this new cheese, let me get you some” camp and I think we should bring that kind of energy into the training hall. So next time you see an unfamiliar face or someone you don’t get to cross blades with often comes by, try and prioritize fencing with them over making sure you get another session in with your teacher. Who knows? You might even learn something new you would have never gotten from the person you’ve been going to week in and week out for the last five years.

To read more of my ramblings, please feel free to subscribe to this newsletter. You can also pick up a copy of my book, “Bolognese Longsword for the Modern Practitioner” over at my website, FoolofSwords.com.